First

Hello.

Keep it simple stupid, K.I.S.S., is a lesson I have never forgotten. How could I? When it comes to me the phrase isn't a mantra, it's a lifestyle. I keep everything simple, open, free, easy, breezy and honest. My cooking, my fashion, my hobbies, my craft fails (I can't recall my last success), even my furniture (less is better). I think people are amazed because the chaotic swirl that is my crazy crazy mind always finds a way, fights a way back to simple. When I see a Polyvore with 832 things all collaged together I get a sudden urge to scratch. It's like my mind can't process what the hell all of that could possibly be and where it's going on a single body. When I see a cake recipe with 9467 steps (I'm looking at you Warren Brown) I immediately shut down, shut the book and have a glass of Sauvignon Blanc or a Mike's Hard Lemonade while I ponder what the hell just happened and why I feel so very dirty. A few hours later, I call my sister and invite her over so she can make the cake while I offer guidance and witty conversation from a kitchen stool. When I flip through the pages of Dwell and see the rooms in homes with every inch of space covered by furniture, more furniture and the crap masquerading as furniture I think, what about the children and then I want to curl up in a ball and rock myself until the picture in my mind goes away. When the people in my life (I'm talking about you Lover Man) want to create daily agendas for our vacations I just remind him that it's time to take his medication but then he reminds me that he isn't taking any, so I suggest perhaps he should and then walk away shouting over my shoulder that we're going to walk and wander the streets like the town drunk. When all of the little people start touching me and talking to me simultaneously and the sound begins the reverberate in my brain and my body starts to feel the way it did at a party on Rugby Road in Charlottesville, I just start throwing around packs of organic fake Goldfish crackers and run. When the Assistant Principal walks up to me and begins asking about reading assessments and completion percentages, I . . . well, actually, that never happens because I utilize an avoid and evade strategy when it comes to him. So simple.

Blogs are supposed to have features and all I could come up with is – Random iTunes of the Day. I currently have 5347 songs in my iTunes library, so each day with Random.org I'm going to feature a song not of my choosing – the good, the embarrassing, the nostalgic, the embarrassing, etc. First up, “Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover” by Sophie B. Hawkins. Might I suggest that we start as just friends and see what happens. Welcome to my blog.